Many singles tell me that they think that having a relationship will solve some problem like loneliness, heartache, insecurity or sadness. They blindly believe that a man will come in on a beautiful white horse and make them feel better. Spoiler alert…a new man in your life will not solve any of your problems; he will only magnify them.
I used to believe that the key to happiness was inside the man and would get so excited when I met someone new. I would sing, “my heartache days are over.” Without fail, every relationship was the same. Eventually all my insecurities would come out like a full-blown outbreak within the first few dates. The initial happy feelings quickly turned to anxiety as I struggled walking on pins and needles wondering if they were going to call or bail on me…again.
I am living proof that no matter how many men you date, after a while it isn’t a numbers game anymore. I had to look at myself. I finally realized I was the common denominator and I didn’t need to find the right one, I needed to start being the right one to change my love destiny.
You attract who you are being. You will always attract the same type of person if you act and believe the same way. In order to get a new result, you need to be different. You can’t drag along the same hopeless heartache girl into every relationship and expect that your relationship will be blissful.
Read more about why finding a man won’t end your emptiness on YourTango.com.